It was Friday and I was ready! The long-awaited day had come. I thought, Finally, I’ll get my “Milk Dud” removed. I wasn’t concerned. My team of prayer warriors were on it and I had no anxiety. (My last blog post gives some background if you need it.)
The day before my surgery, I went to a friend’s house. She prayed for me. “God would you cut those hard places away? Would you remove them from Rachel? May they no longer cause her pain.” She said, “Please remove anything that has been plaguing her, take it out along with this ‘Milk Dud.'”
During the day of surgery, I saw so many “winks” from God:
- Michael was able to come with me and drove both ways.
- From the moment we walked into the hospital we were treated well by everyone.
- We saw this on the wall while checking in. God was letting me know He was on it. He was with me, He would even refresh me.
- The nurses who prepped me for surgery were delightful. They were both kind and attentive. “Let’s have you hop up on this bed here. Let me lift your head. Now I’ll take your blood pressure. I wish mine were that low. Wow! Have you got big plans for the weekend?” she asked. I told her my 4th of July holiday plans.
Then in walked the surgeon who sweetly greeted me. He brushed my feet and patted one on his way around my bed. “I’m going to make an incision along the hair-line. You won’t be able to tell where this thing even was. First let me numb you up here. Just a tiny prick now. Rachel, how is your pain tolerance?” He inquired.
“Well, I had my son Andrew in the front seat of our car, so I think I can handle this!” I replied.
“REALLY?” he said. “Boy, that’s a story, I’m sure! Okay, can you feel me pinching you at all now?”
“Nope!” I answered.
We talked during most of the procedure. I was so glad I was awake. He asked again, “Do you remember ever being hit in the head or experiencing some trauma to this area?” I told him I may vaguely remember a time when I hit my head on a car door. I hollered, “OUCH!” and had to ice it, but it was so long ago I wasn’t even sure it was my head I had injured.
He continued to cut and we talked. Even now as I write, I remember the sound of the scraping and cutting of his skillful hands. I think the sound may be the freaky part, ugh! I asked.”Does this ‘Milk Dud’ have any branches or a root system coming out of it or is it self-contained? Will you be able to get it all?” I inquired.
“It’s really very deep and the muscle tissues have wrapped themselves around it. I have to get it freed from them and…”
Then i felt the push as he tried to leverage the thing loose. It was as if he were a gardener, unearthing a bulb from the ground. That is the only time when I considered asking, “Perhaps you should just sew me up and we”ll call it good.”
He whispered,”We are almost there. Boy it is deep!” His volume increased. “I’ve just about got it! Here it comes!”
My eyes may have been closed when he asked, “Would you like to see it?”
“Absolutely!” I exclaimed.
“Well I didn’t see your brains, but it was really deep inside,” the surgeon commented. Then he presented it to me inside a clear, plastic lab cup. I sat up on the bed a bit straighter and peered inside.
“Wow!” I said. “Now I think I’m going to have to refer to it as my red peanut M&M instead.” (It was red and looked just like a peanut M&M.)
- The procedure took approximately 30 minutes. When I returned, Michael sat in the waiting area. Gladly occupied, he was reading about two of his favorite things, flying and motorcycles.
- This too was a way of God showing me, I really have you both covered. I took this photo with my phone and chuckled as we walked out.
- I was instructed to ice it. So during the afternoon, I was able to just sit! Without anything urgent to do. (you know that rarely happens.
- I received a text from a sweet friend. We’ve experienced a relational shift, somewhat painful on both ends. Here’s the neat thing. We texted back and forth a bit and then we had a FACETIME conversation
- We had the most beautiful conversation and talked through some of the pain points we had felt. This happened on my surgery and recovery day! It was so healing for my heart. It was confirmation that God had actually cut away very difficult and hard things. Not just the lump. I smiled and thought, Rachel do you remember your friend’s prayer yesterday? Think about it…remember she asked God to remove any hard thing along with your milk dud. Some pain I had experienced was gone. Our conversation proved to me that we got rid of it!
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31,32
SO… How’d it go? What did you find out? Within the next week, I found myself back at the surgeon’s office. He reported my pathology results by saying this, “You had just a hunk a bone inside your head.” He smiled as he shared the good report with me. Yes! . Phew! I’m grateful it was nothing alarming, especially since it was growing.
I had him locate and feel for a tiny lump that still remains near the site. It’s the size of a BB, but I’m not concerned about it either. Yet I’m praying it does not grow to the size of my peanut M&M. For those of you who pray, please pray it dissolves. The doctor removed the stitches, instructed me to massage the area over the next three months. “This will help it heal completely flat,” he said.
Apparently, when an injury occurs a cyst may form afterward and become calcified. Reflecting now I realize each doctor I have seen regarding my “milk dud” asked me. “Do you remember getting hit in the head? Did you experience any injury or do you remember some sort of trauma?
Those are insightful questions. I’ve racked my brain trying to figure out whether I was hit by a car’s door or something else. Both Michael and I vaguely remember me putting ice on my head once. But it was so long ago. Because the “Milk Dud” was with me for years we aren’t certain.
Let me ask you along the emotional and spiritual lines these same questions. Is there some trauma or injury that you’ve experienced? Has it caused a hard thing to form in you? Was it a long time ago? Has something “hard” formed in you over time?
Let me encourage you, don’t let it get larger. Even right now, consider getting it removed by Jesus, the great physician. He can surgically remove the hard thing with His skillful hands. He is able to make it so the trauma has no distinct scar. He is amazing at healing and restoring us.
Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for you are my praise. Jeremiah 17:14
For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the LORD, Hebrews 11:6a
God, it is my prayer that you do a healing work in every life that needs your touch. I pray in Jesus name for you to heal the broken-hearted and bind up the wounded. Please touch our physical bodies as well. I speak a blessing over our bodies in Jesus name. Cut out anything that displeases you and help us understand that you’ve already removed sin’s stain and curse. Help us to release to you anything we are holding onto now. You’ve paid for it Jesus, so we give it back. You’ve died for it, it is removed from us. We say thank you! Thank you! Thank you! In Jesus name, Amen