We are Wired for Connection
I have had a rich week. I am super relational, a true people person, and I know that about myself. I will choose people over tasks anytime. This week has been quite unusual though because it was people packed.
We are all wired for connection and we need it for many reasons and I believe it’s beneficial for the soul. Of course, it’s important to rest and practice silence and solitude, too and I practice those disciplines as well.
Yet I am equally convinced people are in desperate need of human connection because we are wired for it. But many people aren’t aware of how isolated they have become. Isolation is a strategy of the enemy of our soul and its so insidious.
One connection was with my dear friend Dana. I was eager to meet for a face-to-face conversation. We devised a plan to meet at a local coffee shop I had suggested. Dana leads a full life and I hoped that she remembered our plans. So, before heading out, I texted her to confirm and warn her that I may be a tad late. This is the text string:
I arrived a few minutes before she did so I grabbed a seat in the back, where we could visit comfortably. I laughed because when she sat down we chatted only for a couple of seconds before Dana, who is hyper aware of her surroundings, got distracted. We have that in common. I mean that in a good way. Dana is amazing at room decor and making the environment beautiful and pleasing.
She was distracted for a few minutes as she looked around and drink it all in. I made her laugh when I told her she was as flighty as me! SQUIRREL!
She quickly spun her head around to canvas the walls and saw a few things I had missed. “Oh, boy! Look at those up there!” She exclaimed.
“Oh, golly I didn’t even notice those three and I’m usually pretty observant.” I admitted.
We reconnected right off the bat and rattled away as we shared life stories. We talked about the real stuff, ” Sorry, to interrupt you Dana, I’m planning to lauch a podcast and it is going to be this kind of stuff…conversations and interviews and may have portions of some of my talks from time to time. I told her the title and said, “I’m going to want to interview you for sure.”
“Oh, “Rache,” she said through laughter, “I’d probably be better off if I didn’t know we were recording!”
She took a sip of her coffee and eyeballed me a second. I scooped up my phone to snap this shot because she is so dear to me. (I didn’t know until later I’d blog and use it.)
- birthdays and aging
- social media
- God’s faithfulness and surprises
- grown children
- dear mutual friends
- our upbringings
It didn’t matter to us that there were two ladies in close proximity, nor an elderly couple who later took their spot. We also had two mama’s with three pre-school boys who ate their macaroni and sandwiches at the booth a foot from us. It didn’t even phase us we just talked above their high-pitched voices and weren’t bothered by their constant activity. We basically closed that back section of the shop down.
It was a beautiful connection. Connection is essential. We are wired for it.
So in Christ, we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. Romans 12:5
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. Proverbs 17:17
Dana has been such an encouragement to me in my life, ministry and during hard trials in life too. I sometimes begin my texts to her this way: Hey, Barnabas! She is one of many, who play the role of Barnabas, an encourager, in my life and I am incredibly grateful.
Because we are wired for connection and life gets busy, let me challenge you to call or text someone now. Set up some meetings next week with a few different people. Make sure your “meeting” has no agenda, just be together, simply catch up on each other’s lives. You’ll both be glad you did. Sometimes someone just needs to initiate.
To prove the “SQUIRREL!”easily distracted thing I mentioned earlier, I was mid sentence when Dana’s brow crinkled a bit, she squinted briefly and gasped. “There are acorns on your chair! Look behind you. See ’em?”
She was right. Two acorns adorned the chair I was seated in. “Stay put, I’m gonna take your picture” she demanded.
Because the chair was topped that way, she curiously investigated the bottom of the upholstery to see what kind of legs my chair had. I lifted the skirted pieces to expose the legs. She discovered, “Oh, well they’re just normal wooden ones.”
We had a ball together! We showed our photos of places we’d been. We testified of the ways God had been blessing us with serendipitous moments and the personal ways He has been revealing Himself lately.
After we thanked God for His goodness and the gift of friendship, the barista took this photo at our request. The minute she snapped the photo I knew what I wanted to blog about. I want to blog about how we are wired for connection.
We hugged and I headed to my car. As I began to fastened my seat belt, I noticed the clock. It read 2:00! WHAT?
My seat belt went CLICK and my phone went DING as I received this text from Dana:
We are wired for connection for sure! So how about you? May I reiterate my earlier suggestion? How ’bout you jingle someone’s line and see if they’d like to get together. Your week needn’t be as people packed as mine, but your life will be richer with human connection, I’m convinced of it. Go ahead, you can be the one who initiates.
BTW: You could also check out Dana’s amazing things on her website: https://burlychic.com. I plan to connect with her sometime soon, Lord willing, when I get the podcast going and you can listen in on our conversation. Stay tuned!